Energy is the other factor in what I do. I’m not a religious person and I find that my religious ideas are really irrelevant anyway. Tarot may be viewed as a spiritual practice – and indeed it is helpful to connect to ones high sense of self. But I do believe that any energy I use up, give off, is used up and given off by someone or something else. The energy is all connected. I call this the Universe. It’s sort of the force that compels me. And maybe that’s how the cards work. By tapping into that realm or dimension where we sense things on the elemental Universal energy level. I like to feel like I’m in touch with the Universe. Capital U.

I’ve never done the phone lines, but I’ve thought about it. After my kids were born, I was no longer comfortable having strangers come into my house for readings and getting out of the house became more and more impractical. Regular clients know my phone number and if I wasn’t able to arrange a meeting or phone call, I would read for them on chat or through email. The internet has changed everything (even psychic counseling!) and I regularly get referrals for my email readings. It’s a steady source of income, but I miss the cash I could bring in with face-to-face readings. Not to mention the energy exchange – it’s a bit of a rush when you’re right on.

I sat next to the chair by the front door for a good ten minutes. Waffling. I really wanted to go to the bar and hand the tender my card and say, Hey, hire me! But I didn’t want to go either. I was afraid I’d sit there most of the night by myself, feeling silly and out of place, afraid I’d lose the courage to talk to anyone — and yet I also felt the Universe nudging me out, gently. Here’s your purse, Universe said. Make sure you have some cash to buy a beer and leave a tip. Now put your boots on and go!

It was fortunate that a few old friends who I hadn’t seen in a long while happened to be there. It was doubly fortunate that the bar owner himself showed up. I worked up the courage to introduce myself when I noticed he was taking a break, drinking a beer at the bar.

He was really open to the idea of having me read there. He took my card and asked me all kinds of questions. He said he always thought it was interesting and his sister gets her cards read frequently. He said that he would think about it and put some feelers out to see if his customers would be interested in it.

When I got back to my table, a woman — friend of a friend, asked what I was doing. I told her how I read cards and wanted to start reading at the bar. She pursed her lips and said, “Uh, want to… practice… on me?”

I just shrugged and said, sure. Universe was in my bag, practically pulling my cards out before I even got my hands in. I put down five cards, met her eyes, and opened my mouth to speak.

Ten minutes later, she sat there quiet, lips parted — like the words wouldn’t materialize. Finally, she cried out, “It’s like you’ve known me my whole life!” grabbed her purse and started rifling through it. She pulled out a tiny wallet and shoved a wad of cash in my face. “Here! Take it! Please!! It’s all the cash I have.”

I never ended up reading in the bar. It was too draining to be super-mom all day and super-tarot reader all night. But when you’re open to the gentle nudges of Universe, you find yourself in situations that are surprising, exciting and new.

Thanks for playing! I’ll do another giveaway in a few weeks for Yule.

I happened to like the first draft of my “Lily” card. I thought the lady I found to headline it was beautiful and wicked all at once. The card seemed cheerful enough and said “lily” to me — though I’d been staring at it the whole time I designed it.

But when someone on the forum where I’m also sharing my cards mentioned that it brought to mind “Lady” and that the lily wasn’t forefront enough, it got me thinking. Then my husband brought home some printouts of the cards I’d already done and mentioned that the Lily one didn’t really say “Lily” to him either (and he knows nothing about cards or art!). So I figured it was time to go back to the drawing board with that one.

So this is “finished” draft 2 (actually draft 4, but only the second draft I’m willing to post!). I think the problem I’m having is that there’s nothing particularly visually exciting about a flower. It’s just a lily. Big whoop. That’s the whole reason I wanted to make my own Lenormand-style deck — the ones out there didn’t get me all excited to read cards! A lily on a card doesn’t speak to me. Still looking for those talking flowers…

I’ve mentioned before (maybe not on the blog) that I’m limited by the source images I can find and my pathetic photoshop skills in putting everything together. And I want to stay in the realm of traditional meanings at least (though as I’m writing notes for the LWB that will go with the deck, I already find myself, er, revising a bit).

So this is the new version of the Lily card next to the old version (on the right):

Which one do you like better?

While your mate is busy programming silly video games for fun in his spare time, say casually, “Hey, maybe when the kids are a little older we could spend our summers dressing up like gypsies and going to Renaissance Faires and I could read cards…”

If he turns to you suddenly and says, “Whoa. That sounds like fun. I would totally do that!” you know he’s a keeper.

If he adds “Would we get to dance too?” feel free to melt into a pool of hot sweet butter and consider yourself heftily blessed by the universe.

***
I’ll return with a regular blog in a day or so. My fetus is re-arranging my innards right now and it’s been hard to concentrate!

LucyD — who has a great looking blog — commented that the visitors to her site seem to want to know how often they should have their cards read. This is a great question and one I have addressed to my clients from time to time myself.

I rarely throw cards for myself. Honestly. And if I do, it’s one to three cards at most. I know that sounds pretty weird considering I’m a card reader. I like to look through my cards and let my thoughts wander though. For myself, tarot is largely meditative and I use it to focus my energy where I want it to go. Divination is usually only helpful if I’m really stuck on something. Sometimes I will throw a spread for myself, sometimes I go to another professional and sometimes I take part in the reading exchanges on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum.

For my clients, I don’t like to see them more than once a month. Again, I know that sounds kooky considering this is how I make my money. I don’t like the idea that the people I read for are becoming dependent on my services. It’s probably just a personal comfort issue with me — but I’d prefer to know that my clients are actively taking control of their lives and actively focusing their energy where they want it to go — rather than spending all their time (and money) on readers.

That said, I have had clients in the past who I have worked with intensely and frequently to help them navigate particularly complex situations. And in those special circumstances, each reading has been empowering and necessary for the client.

I think that where I draw the line is when it becomes clear to me that a client is desperate for me to give him or her the answer they most want to hear — and keep coming back hoping that enough has changed that I can do that. Let me make this very clear: neither the tarot nor myself will tell you what you want to hear. I will only tell you — and I believe that the cards will only tell you — what you need to hear.

So how do you know whether your situation is complex enough or whether your being blinded by your most passionate desires? How do you — as one of my potential clients, for example — really know how often to get your cards read?

Having readings done over and over on the same situation can be draining and frustrating for both the client and the reader. I usually recommend one reading per “situation” unless your circumstances have dramatically changed.

If you find tarot readings empowering (and you should! If you ever find them disempowering, you’re talking to the wrong reader) — consider discussing smaller spreads with your reader. Lots of cards offer lots of information, but in my experience, a Celtic Cross (15 card spread in my book) once a week or even once a month is just too much to digest in time for it to have any quality impact on your life. I honestly would have no problem with a client who wanted me to do a one-card reading for them once a week!

Finally, I think it’s important to say that I won’t take advantage of my clients suffering by advising additional readings or even allowing a client to become dependent on my advice. I will — and I have — refused to reading for clients who were walking that fine line. I think that sometimes the most compassionate advice I can give someone is to just breathe deeply and allow the universe some time to work itself out for once.

After all, both the universe and I need to take a vacation from time to time.

ps – Do you like my butterfly with the watch? Just some of my crazy collage stuff!