I don’t even know if “lily livered” is a phrase, but it seems like something I’ve heard in cartoons.

I happened to like the first draft of my “Lily” card. I thought the lady I found to headline it was beautiful and wicked all at once. The card seemed cheerful enough and said “lily” to me — though I’d been staring at it the whole time I designed it.

But when someone on the forum where I’m also sharing my cards mentioned that it brought to mind “Lady” and that the lily wasn’t forefront enough, it got me thinking. Then my husband brought home some printouts of the cards I’d already done and mentioned that the Lily one didn’t really say “Lily” to him either (and he knows nothing about cards or art!). So I figured it was time to go back to the drawing board with that one.

So this is “finished” draft 2 (actually draft 4, but only the second draft I’m willing to post!). I think the problem I’m having is that there’s nothing particularly visually exciting about a flower. It’s just a lily. Big whoop. That’s the whole reason I wanted to make my own Lenormand-style deck — the ones out there didn’t get me all excited to read cards! A lily on a card doesn’t speak to me. Still looking for those talking flowers…

I’ve mentioned before (maybe not on the blog) that I’m limited by the source images I can find and my pathetic photoshop skills in putting everything together. And I want to stay in the realm of traditional meanings at least (though as I’m writing notes for the LWB that will go with the deck, I already find myself, er, revising a bit).

So this is the new version of the Lily card next to the old version (on the right):

Which one do you like better?

I’ve mentioned before on my blog that I don’t like the word soul mate, but I’ve also figured out a fool-proof test to determine if you’re with the right person.

While your mate is busy programming silly video games for fun in his spare time, say casually, “Hey, maybe when the kids are a little older we could spend our summers dressing up like gypsies and going to Renaissance Faires and I could read cards…”

If he turns to you suddenly and says, “Whoa. That sounds like fun. I would totally do that!” you know he’s a keeper.

If he adds “Would we get to dance too?” feel free to melt into a pool of hot sweet butter and consider yourself heftily blessed by the universe.

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I’ll return with a regular blog in a day or so. My fetus is re-arranging my innards right now and it’s been hard to concentrate!

I’m having tons of fun reading the comments on my contest post. There’s still plenty of time to enter if you haven’t already! You all have been really inspiring and I’m super excited now that I have lots of topics to start with.

LucyD — who has a great looking blog — commented that the visitors to her site seem to want to know how often they should have their cards read. This is a great question and one I have addressed to my clients from time to time myself.

I rarely throw cards for myself. Honestly. And if I do, it’s one to three cards at most. I know that sounds pretty weird considering I’m a card reader. I like to look through my cards and let my thoughts wander though. For myself, tarot is largely meditative and I use it to focus my energy where I want it to go. Divination is usually only helpful if I’m really stuck on something. Sometimes I will throw a spread for myself, sometimes I go to another professional and sometimes I take part in the reading exchanges on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum.

For my clients, I don’t like to see them more than once a month. Again, I know that sounds kooky considering this is how I make my money. I don’t like the idea that the people I read for are becoming dependent on my services. It’s probably just a personal comfort issue with me — but I’d prefer to know that my clients are actively taking control of their lives and actively focusing their energy where they want it to go — rather than spending all their time (and money) on readers.

That said, I have had clients in the past who I have worked with intensely and frequently to help them navigate particularly complex situations. And in those special circumstances, each reading has been empowering and necessary for the client.

I think that where I draw the line is when it becomes clear to me that a client is desperate for me to give him or her the answer they most want to hear — and keep coming back hoping that enough has changed that I can do that. Let me make this very clear: neither the tarot nor myself will tell you what you want to hear. I will only tell you — and I believe that the cards will only tell you — what you need to hear.

So how do you know whether your situation is complex enough or whether your being blinded by your most passionate desires? How do you — as one of my potential clients, for example — really know how often to get your cards read?

Having readings done over and over on the same situation can be draining and frustrating for both the client and the reader. I usually recommend one reading per “situation” unless your circumstances have dramatically changed.

If you find tarot readings empowering (and you should! If you ever find them disempowering, you’re talking to the wrong reader) — consider discussing smaller spreads with your reader. Lots of cards offer lots of information, but in my experience, a Celtic Cross (15 card spread in my book) once a week or even once a month is just too much to digest in time for it to have any quality impact on your life. I honestly would have no problem with a client who wanted me to do a one-card reading for them once a week!

Finally, I think it’s important to say that I won’t take advantage of my clients suffering by advising additional readings or even allowing a client to become dependent on my advice. I will — and I have — refused to reading for clients who were walking that fine line. I think that sometimes the most compassionate advice I can give someone is to just breathe deeply and allow the universe some time to work itself out for once.

After all, both the universe and I need to take a vacation from time to time.

ps – Do you like my butterfly with the watch? Just some of my crazy collage stuff!